Another classic Super Bowl birthday

Every now and then, the greatest single sports event of the year occurs on my birthday. Today is one of those days! That’s right: it’s Super Bowl Sunday and I’m turning something between 30 and 59.

Now, I am not a big celebrator of my own birthday. I do, though, appreciate those who do. Today will be a good day because I not only get to watch my favorite sport but I also get to eat a ton of junk without sneaking around. Festivities, obviously, will be smaller this year but I’m sure it will be a great day. There have been many memorable ones and today, two came to mind.

The first, I didn’t even remember at first, even though it was just last year! Last February 7, my books arrived. I went over to my publisher’s house and did the honors of cracking open that first box of copies of ALL NATIVE. I can’t describe the feeling of being able to scratch one of the top items on my bucket list off, of holding my first novel in my hands. I only remembered today because my publisher, Chris, texted me the photo he took of me holding the book on, fittingly, the street I grew up on.

Despite COVID, it has been a pretty good year for me. The book came out, I got a new job, and most wonderfully, my first, beautiful grandchild. It has had challenges, of course, but I cannot complain as I know many people have had truly tough years. So today, I will appreciate the family who will be spoiling me and the fact that I get to do what so many others don’t.

Of course, today has brought on other memories, including one where the game fell on my birthday and was one of the biggest gong shows I have ever been a part of – and that’s saying something because, as anyone who knows me can attest to, I have been involved in MANY gong shows.

This particular one was a party at Rupert’s Crest Hotel exactly 11 years ago. Many of my family and friends, including most of my flag football team (which was sponsored by the Crest), attended. There was great food, cake, and lots of beer and shooters. And violence – oh, don’t worry. It’s now comical, as such stories often are.

You see, at some point that night, my buddy, whom I will keep anonymous by calling him Stef Esso, punched me in the face. Now, don’t feel bad; remember, this is a funny story!

I don’t remember much of the actual incident but, long story short: I bragged that I could take his best shot and insisted on proving it. I was too blotto to remember it but I woke up the next day to a hundred texts from him, apologizing profusely and asking me to come out to the parking lot (he had been kicked out) and make things right by punching him in the face.

Huh? I thought foggily, as I read his texts. Then, I saw my partner looking down at me with a frown and knew a story was coming. She told me how I had asked him to punch me and then it all started to seep into my memory and I remembered everything up to the punch but not the punch itself.

I recall telling Stef how I could take a punch. I remember boasting that I could even take a punch from the biggest guy in the league, a behemoth whom I shall keep anonymous by calling him Randy Benns. Thankfully, this wasn’t a punch from Randy, from whom I once received a bleeding nose and was left with no feeling in the left side of my face for weeks after I ran into his shoulder trying to get around him in a game.

Of course, all was good between my bud and I but there was a call for revenge from some of the other teammates when the next Super Bowl party rolled around. Of course, I said there was no way that I was going to sucker punch him and they agreed, suggesting a different act: pants-ing.

Now, I had never pants-ed anyone before and was worried that I would bungle it, that I would only get his pants partway down his hips and, once again, the joke would be on me. But, no, instead I proved a natural. It certainly helped that he was wearing sweatpants.

I waited until he had several beers in him which, if you know Stef, was, like, an hour or two into the party. His back was to me and he was holding court, on one of his trademark, epic rambles, standing in front of two tables full of friends.

I snuck up behind, did the ‘shhh’ gesture to everyone, and bang! I whipped his pants down in a flash, all the way down around his ankles. It was a perfect pants-ing … although there was one thing that I didn’t expect: he wasn’t wearing underwear.

Everyone roared in laughter and I howled at the unexpected sight of his bare ass. But, if the whole idea behind the act was revenge, it failed miserably because Stef’s reaction was to act as if nothing had happened. He just stood there, as everyone chuckled, and had another drink of his beer and continued on with his ramble, only pulling his pants up when bar staff insisted. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

Today, I am wearing my Crest Saints jersey, and I remember the days when we could all hit each other then later shake hands and gather for drinks and laughs.

I have so many good friends because of sports. Even most of those who were bitter rivals are now friends. That’s why I believe strongly in the after-game handshake ritual, because without the other team, there’s no game. It’s our way of saying thanks for coming out and making this game happen.

So, hey, thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday today. I know I haven’t always been a good person and pissed a lot of people off but many of you are still there. You’ve forgiven me. You’ve stuck with me. You’ve supported me in my efforts.

A special thanks to my beautiful partner, whom I will keep anonymous by calling her Gronya, and who always spoils me on this day. Thanks as well to my kids and family, who have endured my quirks for so long. And a special thanks to my niece, Caire, today, who is working hard on today’s treats.

And, now, onto the big game!

It’s a great matchup between a quick, talented kid who is a fantastic improviser, and an old gunslinger with plenty of guile. I like the kid, and the Chiefs should win but, today, I’m going to go with guile because, well, eventually, that’s all many of us are left with. And, sometimes, it’s enough.

A fresh start can happen any time

Well, it’s New Year’s Day. We did it!

Normally, around this time, many of us would be recovering from a big party at one of the halls or bars, or a gathering of family and friends. But 2020 was anything but a normal year.

My routine wasn’t changed much yesterday as my hard party days are behind me and New Year’s (and most holidays, really) has little significance to me. I only have a few good memories of the big New Year’s parties. The fashion show put on by the women was always impressive and, sometimes, there was a fight or two to liven things up but I really can’t think of one bash that stands out. The house parties were more fun for me because they involved mostly close friends and acquaintances.

For a lot of people, New Year’s is more meaningful if they’ve had a bad one. So, they say good riddance to 2020 and hope that 2021 is better. Like resolutions, to lose weight or learn something new, it doesn’t make much sense. The present is always more important, the best time to change, and flipping a calendar page over makes no difference.

That’s right: the virus that dominated 2020 still has another wave or two so, no matter how many glasses you lifted to 2021, you’re still going to have to wear a mask, keep your distance, work in your underwear, and find more ways to keep the kids amused. Even with the vaccine and the coming of that day when masks and social distancing aren’t mandated, world health experts are saying there could be other viruses around the corner.

Oh, we can drag our lips about it and mope (and, believe me, I have), or we can, well, carry on and make the most of it. There is a line in a book I am currently reading, that struck me as particularly relevant to our time: No matter what occurred in the world, no matter how near danger might be, life went on, and what could one do but live it? And that line was from a Jew as he watched Nazis march into Austria.

There’s no use playing the victim, as if cruel fate or God is messing with us. Life is often a shit show, a constant struggle and that, oddly, is what keeps the world turning. Stress is what makes us move, makes us get out of bed in the morning. I didn’t write my novel until I pretty much had to, until I agreed to deadlines. I’ve also learned to bake. And I’m taking another run at learning to play piano because, well, why not? In the past year, I was scared and I was challenged. And that, more often than not, is how we learn and feel alive – whether it’s 2020 or not.

I don’t mean to downplay the massive human tragedy that COVID-19 is. Too many people lost loved ones, some who had to die alone, and that is devastating. The majority of us, though, faced more inconvenience than heartbreak.

I have been fortunate in 2020. I got a new job where I help Indigenous people involved in the courts and corrections system improve their lives; every win, big and small, is very satisfying. My novel is doing quite well, despite my not being able to get out and promote it. And I got a short story in the new anthology, Influenced: stories from the lockdown.

COVID-19 has shone a brighter light on our huge societal problems, such as opioid addiction, racism in our institutions, the continued gross disparities in wealth, and global warming. All of these issues affect the poor and minorities much greater. I’m particularly hopeful on climate action. Climate change didn’t create COVID-19 but most scientists agree that it increased the likelihood of it and future ones happening. By not doing enough about climate change, we are essentially pulling up a chair for a pandemic and saying “your table, sir.”

Maybe we should look at 2020 as the Year of Awakening. We’ve been complacent. We let shit go on for too long. Lights have been shone into corners of darkness, where police target people of color and addicts are left alone in their apartments to die. Yet, we’ve also seen the heroism of medical workers, front line staff, and countless acts of kindness.

2020 gave us a common enemy. It would be easy to say it was COVID-19 because it’s faceless and there was seemingly nothing we could do to prevent it. But we know that it is we who are own worst enemy and taking responsibility, once and for all, will be how we build a better, safer world – in 2021 or any year.

The truth is out there. Really.

Who do you believe?

I got a message from an old friend a couple of days ago, asking me, as a former reporter, that question. What were the most reliable sources of news? He didn’t have to tell me why he was asking – I knew, and it made me sad.

I remember a time when most media were trusted.

On TV, it was the big three American stations, ABC, CBS and NBC, while in Canada, it was CBC nationally and BCTV provincially. I was pretty young when cable came along, pulling open the curtain to a big, new, bright world dominated by the U.S.

In print, the Globe and Mail was (and continues to be, I believe) the gold standard and the Canadian Press fed most papers, including the Prince Rupert Daily News, where I worked. It was always exciting to get one of my stories picked up on the CP wire.

I didn’t experience being a writer for a paper with an agenda for too long, as the clear shift to a right-wing bias at the Daily didn’t happen until my latter years in the mid-late 90s. I recall being asked to write an editorial condemning local fisherman for blockading the Alaska ferry and I refused, even under threat of firing. That didn’t mean I agreed with the fishermen’s actions but, after their concerns had been ignored by Ottawa for so long, I wasn’t going to condemn them either.

Today, well, the number of media outlets with agendas far outnumber those without. There are too many, particularly online, to name but they are very easy to spot: they have provocative names, like Rebel Media and The Drudge Report. These extreme sites are the new porn.

In Canada, the right wing owns most of the big media, including the Sun chain, The National Post and, in my neck of the woods, Black Press. Post Media, which has 140 outlets in print and online, is almost entirely American owned. So maybe we shouldn’t be too hard on the CBC for leaning left, although theirs is also a self-preservation battle as Conservatives have long wanted the CBC (at the least, TV) taken off of the public teat. The aforementioned Globe and Mail also leans Liberal.

These are incredibly polarizing times, in no small part due to the rise of Trumpism and the term “fake news,” which refers to any news that is critical of or contradicts him or his government. It has certainly made elections in the U.S. more colorful. News outlets choose sides, which makes the viewing livelier but too outrageous for my liking. It’s hard to take the pundits seriously. Certainly, Canada has its share of agenda news agencies but, as in most things we share with the U.S., we will always be America-lite – which is a good thing.

All of that said, while most media may follow political lines editorially, most report with reasonable fairness. And it is that message I gave to my friend.

Avoid the extreme outlets, that are hard right or left. Those are for people with blinders, whom desperately want their prejudices confirmed. It’s lazy and self-indulgent. We all need to challenge our beliefs. There are few, if any, absolute truths in human systems.

Focus on news stories or features more than editorials. There’s a reason that the big TV outlets and major newspapers, the “mainstream” media, are more read. They want more people to follow them, to subscribe to them, and for that to happen, they need to be believed by more people. Do they still editorialize? Yes. But, while CNN may often editorialize against Trump, their news product still cites sources from both sides.

Even Fox News, which is the most unabashedly biased of the networks, leaves most of the truth-bending to its talking heads and some of them, to their credit, have challenged Trump narratives lately to the point that he is condemning them now and pushing alternative outlets.

It’s the same in Canada. The CBC may lean left and The National Post may lean right but the stories are still written by real, working journalists that still value the craft’s core principles of balance (portraying both sides) and attribution (having people with close knowledge or authority speak to it).

My personal preference is actual, hard-copy reputable newspapers with an online presence, which is most of them. A subscription is pretty cheap – certainly cheaper than picking up a physical copy, which is impossible where I live anyway. I subscribe to the Washington Post for U.S. and world news, and the Globe and Mail for Canadian content. Of course, you can find good sources on the free MSN online, but check the sources as they are hugely varied. Names like Canadian Press, Associated Press, and Reuters are highly trustworthy.

Bottom line: don’t waste your time on the blatantly biased. Read a lot - so few of us do it enough anymore. Liberals are not communists. Conservatives are not Nazis. The truth is out there. If you believe you are a fair and kind person, care enough to find it.