In the process of creating The Urbariginal podcast, I interviewed dozens of people. Only a small number of them were chosen after my work partner, Carolina, and I arrived at the main themes and the direction the project would go.
There were so many great stories, and so many people who shared incredible experiences.
Some interviews, sadly, were left out – only because they didn’t fit the story we were telling.
Thankfully, people will still be able to hear those interviews when they are released as part two of the project, involving the public library.
The voices we did use all played an important part in shaping the story. There were some, though, that really helped us find the path, to see where the journey needed to go. One of those voices was Sandra Dudoward.
Sandra, who holds the name Sim’ooygyet’m Hanax’a, has long been a prominent indigenous voice, having written and spoken extensively on rights and title, particularly as it pertains to her tribe and the community of Lax Kw’alaams. She has also contributed biographical information and recordings of my dad to learning institutions.
But I didn’t speak to her just because of her knowledge.
I knew that Sandra had visited my dad at the hospital just before he passed. Her retelling of that day showed just how close they were and how much he meant to her and that, with her knowledge, is why she figured so prominently.
A huge, watershed moment for The Urbariginal occurred during the interview with Sandra. Her understanding of traditional ways and explanation of my dad’s responsibility to his tribe and their family was a crucial point.
When Sandra provided the explanation for his favorable treatment of them over us, it caused a seismic shift. My feelings about him changed and I realized the resentment that I had held towards her family was unfounded. She also gave me insight into his responsibilities as a leader and the pressures and abuses he faced, starting at a young age.
In learning more about his background and his early life, I got a fuller picture of him. And, while I cannot completely forgive him, particularly for how he treated my mom, I can at least understand where the anger came from. It was this greater understanding that nudged the podcast in the direction it went.
I recall that morning, as I headed to the village on the ferry to interview Sandra. I was uneasy.
Even though the Dudowards had never done me wrong, those bitter feelings, those memories of how my dad favored them, percolated within me. In the podcast, I speak of how I felt about them not as I do now, but how I felt as a child and a young man, in certain moments.
There were good times.
When we were out of the house and away from my dad’s shadow, I got along with them quite well. We occasionally socialized and had many a good laugh, as most cousins do.
I haven’t really seen much of my cousins since my dad’s death – mostly due to many of them living in the Lower Mainland or in the village. One of them, Patty, lives in town and I run into her occasionally. She also has a lot of knowledge and isn’t shy to share it.
We have all moved on … but not entirely. He was as big to them as he was to us and they still speak of him a lot.
I understand the relationship more now. And that makes it a little easier.
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